Psychological Autoethnography Essay by Caitlin Saliba

This was written for WRT 304, or Writing for Your Profession. I took this last year, so I was a sophomore. 
The purpose of the essay was to explore our chosen career path, and to explore our reasoning for choosing this path. He encouraged us to look deeper than “what do you want to be when you grow up?” and explain all angles of the decision we’ve made. 
For me, this essay was the first time I really sat down and analyzed the choices that brought me to the point I was at. While I knew that I always had an interest in mental health, I never considered each aspect of the career as delicately as I did in this essay, or explored the different options I have with a psychology degree. Above all, it helped reaffirm my choice of going into the Psychology field, and helped to put out any worries I had regarding if I was making the “right choice” for a career.

Caitlin Saliba

Perhaps one of the most heard questions by children everywhere is the age-old “What do you want to be when you grow up?” For me, I wanted to be a pilot. I wanted to soar through the clouds, seeing places all around the world in my little plane. However, that was until I found out about plane crashes. Little 5-year-old me was entirely shocked that such a thing could happen, 

and immediately set off to find my next dream job. After moving on from my aspirations as a pilot, I wanted to be a teacher. I was so confident in my career choice as a teacher, and couldn’t wait to go to college to learn how to become one. However, this was until it hit me that teachers would have to be in stuffy high schools for the rest of their lives. So, after I stopped wanting to be a teacher, I wanted to be an artist, then an author, then a biologist, then a forensic scientist, and now a psychologist. More specifically, I aspire to become a therapist for troubled youth, who may be suffering from mental health issues as well as behavioral issues, substance abuse issues, and more. 

There’s a lot of factors that go into choosing what one will do for their future career. What do you value? What are your skills? What are your passions? These are all things we must consider while making the life-altering decision as to what to do with our lives. Personally, I feel the biggest factor driving me to pursue psychology is my personal experiences with different psychological disorders and illnesses, both within myself and those close to me. As someone who has struggled with mental illness, I’m able to empathize and relate to others struggling, which may be a trait that many value in a therapist or mental health professional. I remember in middle school, when I was required to see the school psychologist and guidance counselors for regular “check-ins”, I felt that there was some invisible divider between us, as if they didn’t

really understand what I was feeling. They always nodded along, and gave general advice, but never seemed to truly understand. As a therapist, I want to help kids learn more about themselves and how their emotions work, as well as how to cope when feeling overwhelmed by emotions like sadness or anger. I want to help send the message that it’s okay to have conflicting and confusing feelings, and that mental health and taking care of yourself should always be a top priority for everyone. In a way, I feel that by doing this for a new generation of people, I’ll be able to help the kid inside of me who didn’t know how to deal with her emotions. 

In addition to my own personal experiences with poor mental health, another factor that guided me to the path of psychology are my skills. More specifically, my interpersonal skills, analytical skills, and skills regarding emotional regulation and communication. All these skills are qualities of a good and successful therapist, and will help me build the best possible relationships with my clients. According to the APA’s examination and analysis of a collection of independent studies, better relationships between clients and their therapists foster more positive therapeutic and treatment-related outcomes. Factors including agreeing on therapeutic goals, requesting client’s feedback during treatment, and repairing rifts are just as vital to a positive therapeutic outcome as following the proper treatment plan (DeAngelis, 2019). More specifically, the research touches on the benefits of a mutual or collaborative relationship between the therapist and client. As someone who considers myself to have strong interpersonal skills, I believe I could really connect with the client and collaborate with them about their therapy treatment plan. 

In addition to my interpersonal skills, I believe that my emotional regulation and communicative skills, as well as my analytical skills, will prove to be an asset to my skills as a therapist. Like any other relationship dynamic, therapists and their patients may have

disagreements on things such as treatment plans, or a patient may hold strong disbelief in the therapeutic process. However, it is critical that as a therapist, I would be able to repair these ruptures in the relationship I have with my clients. According to psychotherapy researcher J. Christopher Muran, “Handling any rupture begins with recognizing that one is occurring…that’s easier when a rupture is marked by confrontation rather than withdrawal, so therapists should watch out for the quieter forms.” (DeAngelis, 2019) Just as important as the recognition of a rupture is the addressing of one. According to Muran, an intensive strategy for working through a rupture is encouraging an open and mutual discussion with the patient that tackles the issue head-on. Working through negative emotions directly can help both the growth of the patient as well as the therapist. 

Negative emotions are a given in the world of psychotherapy – without any negative emotions being experienced, it is unlikely that a patient would end up in a therapy office. However, according to Stony Brook University’s Marvin Goldfried, therapist’s ability to handle such emotions is essential. Therapists typically have to handle negative emotional states of patients on a regular basis, which could lead to feelings of frustration in the therapist. However, if patients pick up on these feelings (through things like body language, facial expression, and tone of voice), it could make them feel worse about themselves, or make them feel as though there is something wrong with them (DeAngelis, 2019). Thus, it is important for therapists to be alert to feelings such as frustration, boredom, or urges to end the session. However, as someone with emotional regulation skills, I will be able to monitor my own feelings and reactions appropriately. 

Outside of my own personal skills, the world is changing to be more accepting towards mental health issues and openly discussing the effects of such issues. The main objective of

many companies today is to decrease the stigma surrounding mental health and to help advocate for more mental health resources. As a result, there is a general trend with increased accepting attitudes towards those with mental illness and thus, more demand for mental health professionals. According to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 87% of Americans believed that having a mental illness was nothing to be ashamed of (American Psychological Association, 2019). Furthermore, coupled with this rise in acceptance of mental health issues, there is an accompanying rise in mental health disorders themselves, in part due to the 2019 Coronavirus Pandemic. During the pandemic, individuals were suffering from fear of catching COVID-19, losing loved ones, social isolation, and economic pitfalls. These factors all helped contribute to the sharp increase in mental health issues following quarantine. In 2020 and again in 2021, the American Psychological Association conducted surveys in order to learn more about how the mental health crisis during the pandemic was impacting practicing psychologists. These surveys found that therapists were experiencing an increased demand for anxiety and depression treatment. Longer waitlists, increased workload, and lower capacity for new patients was also reported. Treatment for anxiety disorders increased from 74% to 84%, depression treatment jumped from 60% to 72%, and stress-related disorders increased from 50% to 62% (American Psychological Association, 2021). Needless to say, the demand for practicing psychologists is high. 

It would be imprudent to not recognize these drawbacks to the field of psychology, even with its benefits such as high employee demand fostering the field, and thus career growth. Mental health professional burnout is something that is surprisingly prevalent in the workplace, and is a result of high stress, low salaries, perceived lack of career advancement, and increased workloads. Burnout prevalence among mental health professionals can range, with one review of

the literature found a range between 21-67%. (SAMHSA, 2022) Similar to the pandemic’s effects on the population’s mental health, the COVID-19 pandemic also contributed to increased levels of burnout among healthcare physicians, including mental health workers. This is due to the high increase in mental disorders following the global health crisis, with it causing a 25% increase in anxiety and depression worldwide (World Health Organization, 2022). This being the case, it is imperative to be prepared to take on high work loads, and extremely important for therapists and mental health practitioners to be able to handle such a large workload as efficiently as they would be able to handle a small one. However, as someone who considers myself to have a high work ethic, I am ready for such a challenge. It would be my mission to provide mental health support for as many people as I could do so efficiently, no matter where they may be in their mental health journey. 

One of my values in the context of the world of psychology and therapy is that everyone deserves mental health help and support, no matter how severe their condition may be. I believe that psychotherapy is an underutilized source, and could help improve the day-to-day life of anyone in attendance. This being the case, I am optimistic about the increased demand for psychologists and am eager to meet such demand. If I am able to accumulate a large client pool, with a wide variety of different mental health conditions and states, I will be fulfilling my role as a therapist and integrating my personal values into my work, thus leading to me having more fulfillment from my career. As someone who wants to work with teenagers and older children, I will be regularly encountering individuals with both extreme and minimal symptoms of mental health disorders. 

As I stated earlier, my occupational goal is to treat adolescents and teenagers suffering from mental health disorders, as well as those who had a poor upbringing resulting in behavioral

issues. The field for this type of clientele is growing rapidly, with job growth projections giving ample support to the data collected by the APA’s 2021 survey. The Bureau of Labor Statistics lists the “substance abuse, behavioral disorder, and mental health counselors” profession as having a 22% projected growth between 2021-2031. This rate is over two times higher than the average job growth rate, which is about 6% (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2022). As someone who hopes to work in a practice for a number of years while I save up to start my own, job stability is something that I value while selecting a career. 

Overall, the field of psychology is a rapidly growing field with ample opportunities to do what I love. The personal benefits I would gain from this career in terms of insight, personal growth, and interconnectedness, as well as my ability to change life for somebody, is something I value highly. While I am able to recognize the drawbacks of the field, such as professional burnout and sharp increase in workloads, the positive attributes certainly outweigh these factors. With my personal experience with mental illness and disorders being the driving force behind my desire to pursue psychology, I believe I will be a more understanding, relatable, and effective therapist. Following my education, I will mentally and emotionally ready to take on the world of therapy and mental health counseling, both including and excluding the drawbacks of the field.

References 

DeAngelis, T. (2019). Better relationships with patients lead to better outcomes. https://Www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/11/ce-corner-relationships American Psychological Association, (2022). Apa.org. 

Worsening mental health crisis pressures psychologist workforce. (2021, October 19). Apa.org. https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/practitioner/covid-19-2021 

EVIDENCE-BASED RESOURCE GUIDE SERIES Addressing Burnout in the Behavioral Health Workforce Through Organizational Strategies Addressing Burnout in the Behavioral Health Workforce Through Organizational Strategies Acknowledgments I Addressing Burnout in the Behavioral Health Workforce Through Organizational Strategies Acknowledgments. (n.d.). 

https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/pep22-06-02-00 5.pdf 

U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. (2019, April 12). Substance Abuse, Behavioral Disorder, and Mental Health Counselors : Occupational Outlook Handbook: : U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Bls.gov. 

https://www.bls.gov/ooh/community-and-social-service/substance-abuse-behavioral-disor der-and-mental-health-counselors.htm 

World Health Organization. (2022, March 2). COVID-19 pandemic triggers 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide. World Health Organization. https://www.who.int/news/item/02-03-2022-covid-19-pandemic-triggers-25-increase-in-p revalence-of-anxiety-and-depression-worldwide

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